Ready to Go

I'll probably be packing and repacking until Sunday, the day I leave, the day I am headed out of the country for the next two months. It irritated me at first. The business woman with a check list of to do's coming out of me, wondering why on earth everything couldn't be ready at a certain date at a certain time so this could all be finished. Then it hit me, thinking about all I have shoved into a drawer back at base, that still needs to fit into my hiking backpack, right now I have the blessing to rest and sometimes that is the hardest part. 

Truth is, I was ready for anything. Ready for the text that we'd be going back to places I'd already been too, what I wasn't ready for was dreams coming true. Are we ever ready for that? These are my last thoughts, before shutting down devices that help protect our security while overseas and these are the words I hope you remember, when you don't see the link to my blog popping up on your news feed. The moment dreams come true and as hard as the resting can be, these are the exact moments that prepare us, for the hope and future God has in mind for us. He has taken me places I already couldn't have dreamed of, because they were His dreams. I picture God holding my hand and then covering my eyes saying, "Amelia, I have a surprise for you!" Sometimes, I think I know all there is to know about what He is preparing me for, but most of the time its His pleasure to blow my mind and hear me laugh. I hope you have dreams. Dreams that even though they might seem like dreams to you, God can transform them into His dreams and His desires in you. We can plan and prepare and try to fit everything into two bags for two months of a journey, but even during that time He likes to surprise us, sometimes He doesn't want us to see what's coming until the moment we arrive. Then when we've got our feet planted He will say, "Surprise!" In that moment and as I try to prepare and rest, I trust Him guiding me. Even though I cannot see everything that's going to happen, I'm excited to see where I'm landing and when I step off the plane, hear Him say, "Surprise!" 

"Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own."
-Jeremiah 33:3

On the Corner of the Couch

Its my favorite spot, whenever I come home from school. I'm sitting here on the corner of the couch, anticipation building for the moment I'm loving to live as well as the moments that are coming my way. I come to this corner of the couch to relax and breathe and read and laugh and much more. The house is all lit up with Christmas tree lights and I am all lit up on the inside that can't help, but spill over on the outside. Whether it was coming home on Thursday and heading to my high school before I got home for a concert, or working out I've found so many nooks and crannies along my journey that have become other homes to me. Every time I arrive back at my YWAM base I am greeted with a, "Welcome home!" As I've been so embraced both near and far this Christmas season, I want to greet others with a welcome home whether its their home or not. Tonight, I await the arrival of my two best friends and tomorrow brings on the joy of cookie decorating. Its a real welcome home for me, but whether its on the corner of the couch or on a plane flying to Asia I want that attitude of welcome home to light up my face. The lights that can last all year round, are the ones we choose to give and spill over to the ones who need to hear the welcome home. I've snapped out of my Seattle time and now rest on the corner of the couch on Minnesota time. With great jubilee, I dance in the year to come embracing moment by moment and letting my smile spill over to light up those who need to hear the welcome home, this season. 

Where are You?

My favorite question that I've been asked lately is, "So, where are you?" During my DTS last year, I made phone calls to supporters who were helping me earn my salary, to be a missionary. Even if they'd gotten a newsletter from me, they still had no idea what I was doing or what it meant to do a DTS right after high school. I love keeping in touch with people and being able to discuss not only where I've been the past year, but where I'm at now. 

Its not a problem, although it seems to have become one for me. The problem of the now is that too often, we aren't all in. We have dipped one toe into the water, afraid of getting both feet wet. I love Jim Elliot's quote, "Wherever you are, be all there." I recently, received a word from the Lord, from a fellow leader, that described him seeing me in a prison, trapped and training for something, but not really knowing what I was preparing for. At first he'd seen me in a courtyard, but then realized that I was trapped. I love receiving words from people, but this word I did not want to receive. I was wrestling with God about it all day in my head, knowing I didn't want to over analyze it, but I simply wanted God to explain it to me. Then, sitting in the Boiler Room, during ministry time I was discussing this word with a friend telling her how it made me so unsettled. She raised her hand and asked if she could share her thoughts with me. See, I've been restless. Restless, in this season of wondering what's next after the Basic Leadership School and restless without having a four year plan for my life.

Let's not make prisons out of our minds trying to figure it all out for ourselves. Take a deep breath, set both feet in the water and if you want to even jump in all the way like I did, last Friday at the swimming pool, then do it. Dive all in, get wet, get soaked where you are right now in life. The security of a four year plan, does not secure the reply of, "Yes! Now, I've finally got it all figured out!" I want to be aware of my future and yes have vision, but at the same time, I don't want that to cloud my mind from where I'm at right now. This wrestling with God and not knowing how to receive this word from my friend, has turned into me tuning into God's voice of going on adventures with Him. Adventures that call me to be all in right where I am. My prison, has turned into an adventure of narrow roads that have always proven God as faithful in His provision for my life. Ask Him to take you on an adventure, He will. Not only will He, but He wants too. He wants both of your feet in the water, He asks you to jump in with Him all the way, if we so dare to trust Him on the narrow roads we are granted a secure future of His faithful provision. 

Better Living

So, last weekend, I am at Better Living Through Coffee, I've ordered my usual sea salt carmel late and the guy making it says to me, "Amelia right? Open mic in the Boiler Room?" And I was just too stunned to speak! I didn't even remember seeing him, while I had been up there singing. He was dressed in all black, black hair everything, anywho, he turns to me after what he's just said and adds, "Beautiful voice!" And then hands me my late, that is shaped into a heart. I'm just so stunned that he knew my name and remembered my voice! All I had strength to say, was asking him if he'd played at open mic before and he explained that he'd used too, now he didn't have enough time, since working at Better Living Through Coffee. I was still so stunned to speak, that all I could reply was, "Well, you should just keep doing whatever you were doing before!" I wish I would've said more, but I was just still so shocked that he remembered my name and called my voice out as beautiful. It rocked me to my core, as God continues to break my heart into a million pieces, so I can be made whole with His heart becoming one with mine. I totally regretted getting that coffee and having to rush sipping on it, as I wanted to catch up with the others, but you know, I think God wanted to bless me and make me understand His heart with mine. God is stretching me, growing me, replacing my heart with His and His desires to become one with mine. He know's what He's up to. 

In Awe

Its been on my mind lately, the concept of aweness at God. How we were created to not fully understand Him, but to kneel down on our knees in awe at Him and how He chooses to bless us! The past two Sundays, I've been going to this classy, relationship oriented Lutheran church, in Washington, instead of the one I'd been going to during my DTS last fall. I can't fully explain the feeling of stepping into this small, welcoming congregation, other than the truth that I really miss trembling before the Lord. I've missed the simple things, like lighting candles in the sanctuary and people getting dressed up for church. Not to say, we don't do any of that at the church I used to go to, or the one I attend back home. I just have this longing in my heart to embrace the mystery of God! So, with the decision to attend this Lutheran church in Washington, I so look forward to the lighting of candles, looking my best for the One who deserves my best and a longing being fulfilled that, I don't have to even try to understand God, because all He wants is to know me! He pursues us relentlessly, I am so grateful that I don't have to be perfect before Him, but I still want to give Him my best! In what ways is He challenging you to look for Him?

Blue Shadow

I am like a blue shadow
I will slowly fade away like everything else on this earth
But my friends there is so much life to be lived!
Let us not waste it
Hear the urges of your friends
Laugh while you can and cry when its needed
Meanwhile, my friends those loyal to my side
Stand with me now please?
Hold my hand and let us cry out to our God against the plagues of darkness that war against our souls
Its joy in the letting go
Purpose in the hands of our Maker
Giving thanks in all circumstances
Letting others see the real you, is perhaps the best battle to be fought
For it is in letting others in that true completion of identity is unmasked
The veil torn and loud shouts of joy lifted from the ones with sore hurts
So, though time might not heal all wounds there is weight lifted when we open our hands and with the reassurance that He is always there, let us let Him open the door to our hearts
It is there in the opening up to our true love that between the tears, joy and giving it all up for His name that the veil is lifted,
Give it up my friends, give it all up and get all in to the One who deserves our love the most. 
Amen.

Laid Down Lovers

It cracks me up everything about this place, from the obnoxious music playing in the back round, to how afraid I used to be to come in here and initiate conversation with people. One of my favorite songs that played at the DTS conference, I was at this past week had the lyrics, "We are Laid Down Lovers." I love that phrase and especially try to make it my prayer as I begin this next phase of my life at a leadership school and within the community of Port Townsend. 

This place is called the Boiler Room, and I've written about it before, a coffee shop that has become a safe haven to the homeless and troubled youth in this town. This is a weird place, not many are fond of, but its special in my heart, because this coffee shop is the first place I shared my testimony to someone I'd never met before. We are laid down lovers, my friends, and that is my focus as I begin this school, to not make excuses or let complaining and pride have its way on my tongue, but to lay my life down to love those who God has put in front of me. As I was taught at the conference this past week it is important, we let God have the priority in our hearts of our yes' and no's. It is both my prayer and challenge, that as I walk into coffee shops, sit and play my instrument and converse with those outside of my comfort zone, that a yes would always be on my lips for whatever God has put on my tongue to say to those whom I'm called to love. 

(Art drawn from the Boiler Room). 

New Beginnings

Its amazing, when you know that you are in the right place at the right time. That's exactly how I feel as I begin this school year, starting my Basic Leadership School with YWAM (Youth With a Mission). Honestly, ever since I stepped foot back onto the Discovery Bay campus, I was overwhelmed with peace. The double blessing, is the fact that I've felt so much peace being here that I feel as though there is nothing I cannot do, or am not capable of! 5 immense blessings that I am especially grateful for upon my arrival are 1) Waking up in the mornings and enjoying it with old friends, while making new ones 2) The smell of the sea 3) How surprisingly warm the weather has been! 4) Meal times getting to meet new people who come to visit the base and are interested in doing a DTS (Discipleship Training School) 5) The confidence that I am constantly growing while I am here, both in who I am and at the same time learning new life skills. 

*God has put a few prayer requests on my heart that I'd ask you to lift up to Him.

-Tomorrow we leave for Redding California, for a DTS conference for us leaders. Please pray for safe travels and open hearts and minds to hear what God has to speak to us as leaders.

-More bedroom space for the boy staff.

-Deeper revelation on God's will and plan for my life. 

*Maybe God has put it on your heart to support me, financially, although most importantly I ask for the gift of prayer! If He has, you can message me on facebook or email me at pixiedust.milly@gmail.com for more information on how to support me, or if you are interested in doing a DTS with YWAM, it would be my pleasure to share my experience with you! 

The Wanderer

"And what I wanted to do was go on and on, across the sea, alone with the water and the birds, but some said I was too young and the sea was a dangerous temptress........ 

The sea, the sea, the sea, it rolled and rolled and called to me. Come in, it said, come in. And in I went, floating, rolling, splashing and swimming, and the sea called, Come out, come out, and further I went but always it swept me back to shore. And still the sea called, Come out, come out, and in boats I went - in rowboats and dinghies and motorboats, and after I learned to sail, I flew over the water, with only the sounds of the wind and the water and the birds, all of them calling, Sail on, sail on."
-The Wanderer, Sharon Creech 

I'm trying not to force my words or add unnecessary explanations. This post is simply about my need to wander. Like the name of the boat in my favorite book, I also long to sail and be free although some may say its dangerous and I'm too young, still I will go. Still I will sail, I will fly in whatever way I can to wander, but not just to wander to learn how to spread my wings. This is what I must do in a little over a week. So, here we go. Its a new school year already, and where we let ourselves spread our wings to freely wander in the midst of the daily schedules with tasks to complete and deadlines to meet. I'm giving myself permission to wander this year as I pray you do too! Here's to wandering, spreading our wings and sailing in whatever way we can even if the water's frozen. 

Stop for the One

Do you ever get that adrenaline rush when you are holding something above your head, whether that be a sparkler, or roman candle? Whatever it is, I think we as humans need to have that once in a while. The excitement of holding something dangerous, but knowing that we also have the ability of controlling what we are holding. Last night, we had three of our closest family friends over for burgers and a bonfire. It was a bit late celebration of the fourth of July for a close family friend who had recently had their husband/father pass away. The constant push I had in the back of my head last night was, "Stop for the One," meaning find the one who is by themselves or may not be recognized to be having fun in the group, to love the least of these is my greatest offering. I remember something my family friend who passed away once said to my dad, "I am so proud of Milly. Who she is becoming and who I see her hanging out with at school." These were the wise words from my intermediate art teacher. I think of this teacher often when I am rolling down the trampoline with his daughter or grabbing a piece of notebook paper for his son to write down the names of who is playing in the ping pong tournament in our garage. One other situation last night happened while I was in bed and his son kept playing our piano in our living room to the Charlie Brown theme song. I stepped out of my bedroom to refill my glass of water and cheered him on to keep playing. I'm so excited to see where God leads this young man who, as he will tell you, "I'm the artist!" Who is the one you will stop for to cheer on or to simply roll down a trampoline with to let them know that you are with them, for them and want to spur them on to righteousness? It could be dangerous. You are holding onto something precious. Offer yourself as a bridge and a healing balm.  "That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, "It demands to be felt." (The Fault in Our Stars). We heal our pain with the joy of the Lord as our strength, with the rush of getting food after we pray and all the kids trying to get through the door at once and then maybe we will end the night by letting the artist play the theme of Charlie Brown on our living room piano while also rolling down the trampoline and trying to crack the egg before the night ends. 

Leading Yourself

I've had a longing in my heart since I was a young girl, to go to India. My heart was grieved, when I saw on the front cover of a magazine, a soldier holding a baby from India. The title on the front cover read something to the effect of, "Who will help them?" My little heart probably around age of 7 or 8, felt like it was about to break. I remember going into my room and crying, when we got home from the grocery store that day. My mom knocked on my door, asked me what was wrong and when I explained to her, about my broken heart over the lost, she held me and told me that this was an ok thing to be crying about! The picture of the baby being held by a soldier and the cry in my heart to help others has never gone away. A week ago, I got a text from a friend that told me the exciting news, that for our next outreach we will be leading we'll spend two months in India!!!!! I almost cried in joy and excitement knowing full well that God has been preparing my heart for this moment of going to that country for many years. So, here's where I'm at now. In January, I will be helping lead a two month outreach, but I have a whole summer to work and raise support to go back to Washington State, in the fall where I will be apart of a Basic Leadership School. My heart is bursting at its seams with joy! But what do I do now in the midst of the waiting, testing, and the hot two months ahead, of July and August? I learn to lead myself. The press on my heart is, if I cannot lead myself, than how will I be capable of leading others? So, with the two months of waiting ahead for this next season of my life, I will begin to teach myself even simple life skills, like learning how to cook challenging meals in the kitchen. If we don't know how to 

deal with our own attitudes in response to others and difficult situations how can we expect to lead others? As Peter says in the gospel of Luke 5:8, "Master, leave. I'm a sinner and can't handle this holiness. Leave me to myself." Then at the end of this passage it tell us, "They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed Him." There's a maturity that comes with being aware of our own sinfulness, but a joy everlasting that is the adventure of being willing, to leave everything behind and follow the Master. Trust me, its worth it!

Free Punch in the Face

You know all those t-shirts that have, "Free Hug!" written on them? Well, years ago when my family and I were at Sonshine Christian Music Festival, my mom had been talking about how many people really like to offer their free hugs at music festivals, so as she had been walking around the booths at this festival, she noticed a really tough looking young lady wearing a t-shirt that said, "Free Punch in the Face!" Isn't that hilarious? We still tell this story a lot in my family!  

Your probably reading this thinking...what? Free punch in the face what is that all about? Let me give you an example and jump to the point. So, one of my leaders at this base says to me a lot, "Get over it! Suck it up, buttercup!" It drives me crazy! But hey, here's the thing, today when I had a bad cold and woke up with a sore throat, I was told that me and my fellow interns would be doing evangelism in town this morning. Climbing into the van, I was worn out and emotional, my leader kept telling me to get over it and I was so upset! However, my leader and his wife along with my fellow interns, surprised me by taking me out to coffee in honor of my birthday coming up! I got really emotional in the coffee shop, when I was so happy to hear that they wanted to take me out for my birthday and the man working behind the counter handed me my coffee and said, "This is inspired by your emotions!" We all laughed! My challenge and prayer for you is that when you see Jesus face to face someday and He shakes your hand will He be inspired by your emotions your perseverance to get over it, even when you just want to crawl back into bed! With the free life God offers us, we are able to turn that free punch in the face around, to inspire others by how we choose to persevere. Knowing there is someone who we can trust, helping us work through our emotions even when we cannot see Him. He is there working behind the counter with us and helping us in the midst of our daily lives. 

And Still You Know Me

While I was overseas, one of our leaders got a word from the Lord for me, they told me that, God wants to reveal to me how well He knows me. I had gotten my name misspelled on my plane ticket and between 6 different plane rides overseas, to our first destination, it was pretty tense going through customs, wondering if any of the security was going to notice my name and if they did notice, I would've had to stay in an airport with a leader while the rest of our team got to make it to our final destination. Through a lot of prayer God helped me make it through all of customs. Without any security noticing one misspelled letter on my name!

 Many of you know that I still have a special place in my heart for the country of India, I still have that seed planted in my heart of wanting to go there. God renewed a picture in my mind, that He had given me during my first month overseas, of a lot of Indian children crawling all over me, laughing as I let them love me and I loved them in return! Seeing children on the streets, while I was overseas, even though I was not in India grew a longing in my heart for wanting to take care of children who have been abused. God also has set a flame in my heart of wanting to take care of missionaries. Its a goal of mine to earn my masters in counseling and healthcare, through YWAM. He's planted a dream in my heart of wanting to provide a safe house, full of kids and missionaries to come rest while I know how to take care of them mentally and physically. Not only is this my dream, but it is also God's dream that He has planted in my heart. Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." The more time we spend with God in His presence the more He longs to invite you to know Him better and reveal to you how well He knows you too! "You hung the stars and You move the sea and still You know me!"-Stephanie Frizzel (Bethel Music).

Simplicity of Diversity

As I sip on my carmel latte in my happy place by the sea, I am surrounded by artists, musicians, hippies and backpackers. I have come to a realization, of how much I love the simplicity of diversity. I know that some people really don't enjoy spending time with people who are different then them, I however, depending on the scenario love these adventures! 
  
This weekend, I went camping at a place called Salt Creek in Washington State. Every night, I would curl up in my sleeping bag smelling like a bonfire and hear the sound of the waves crashing behind the tent. One of the young people who I was camping with has a very negative attitude. I really enjoyed being around him because despite our polar opposite attitudes we actually got along very well! A lot of times, the unexpectedness of people and whatever it is that makes them different than your personality has a lesson to teach us. His attitude, taught me to be more positive and as he would complain sometimes I'd laugh and comment about how much he cracked me up which a brought a smile to his face. My second realization, is how much I love to be around people. I never expected Washington State to become like a new home for me. Minnesota will always be my home, but Washington has become a place my soul hungers to learn as well as flourishes to come alive. Both places have had deep impacts on my life, but its crucial that we all have that place where our souls can flourish and grow within the diversity around us. The simplicity of diversity is realizing the difference of those around us whether that's my own family back in Minnesota, or the hippie to my left in this coffee shop. It's realizing that we don't have to be complicated and over think in order to reach a common ground with the people who God puts in our life. For me, when it comes to diversity the common ground is realizing how simple it is. Ask God how to reach out to the people who are different from you in whatever simple way you can. I simply need to engage in the story God has placed me in right now, stories will flow out of the life I choose to live.

Junkyard or Art?

Words cannot do it justice compared to the feeling of your toes sinking in the sand, or hearing the waves crashing on the shore or the familiar laughter of the hippies talking about their latest adventure! I spent the evening in Port Townsend and there is truly no place like it, at least none that I could begin to think of! If you have walked the streets of this small town or even driven through it you might get a glimpse of the uniqueness and simplicity of this town, but something that really caught my eye today, as I sat talking to a couple of friends of mine was the display to my left. I'm not even going to try to describe it to you because it is just simply a weird kind of beautiful! I couldn't make up my mind to try to decide about whether it looked like a lot of junk or art! I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to make up my mind about the endless possibilities that I could try to think of, of what to name this place. I think there are some places that God puts us in where we are simply meant to be and dwell there. I wouldn't be surprised if during Jesus' time on earth that this would have been one of his favorite hang out places to simply be and dwell amongst the people. He saw the beauty and weirdness of humanity and that was His favorite place to be right in the middle of it all:) 

Where You Lead Me

 I could be safe

 I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home, never let these walls down

But You have called me higher, You have called me deeper 

And I will go where You will lead me Lord

Where You lead me...

        There are a lot of weirdos in this artsy community I find myself living in, for 3 more weeks as I am a part of a leadership internship. One of our outreaches is helping out with the local youth group at the church nearby my base. Many of the kids at this church do not understand the faithfulness of God because of abandonment from their parents and the town that is by my base is influenced by a lot of drugs. So, when we had this amazing night last week of breakthrough and prayer for these kids hearing that God's faithfulness is just the way He is, was an amazing new concept for them! I don't know what your back-round  is or what community of influence you find yourself in, but I want to encourage you to look at the youth or community and ask yourself if they know what it safety means or if they can grasp the concept of faithfulness. You as a believer, have the power of Christ in you to daily offer an example of God's faithfulness based on how you treat them. I want to encourage you to YouTube the song, "Higher," by All Sons and Daughters and make it your daily prayer , it doesn't have to take you going on a plane somewhere to show the limitless love of God's faithfulness to someone it can be your family or co-workers, simply asking God, to daily lead you has the power to change your life and the lives of others!

Plan to be Surprised (Part 2)

There was never a part 1, to the last blog post, but do we ever plan on having a part 1 and 2 when it comes to being surprised? I've made a decision to return to YWAM and part of that next step will be me leaving in two weeks, to fly back out for an internship that I will be doing on the West Coast. 
       I was recently asked the question, "What makes you come alive?" Think about it. It took me awhile to, because whether I am at home, at a friends, or traveling to a foreign country, so many things can make me smile and thankful to be alive! I think the key that I realized to unlocking my heart to come alive, was when I had this mini revelation yesterday. Sitting, on the favorite corner of my couch I turned to my dad and said, "Dad, I think I just had this mini revelation. I am so blessed. I have been given so much and I don't ever want to take this life for granted, but when I think about how much I've been given it also makes me think of how much I have to give!" This is what unlocks my heart to come alive, the willingness to lay it all down. 
       "I want to love with much more abandon and stop waiting for others to love me first. I want to hurl myself at a creative work worthy of God. I want to follow Peter as he followed Christ out onto the sea, pray from my hearts true desire. Life is not a problem to be solved, but an adventure to be lived." -John Eldredge, Wild at Heart. 

Plan to be Surprised

"Instead of telling your young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised."-Dan in Real Life.

     Life has taken me by surprise, whether that's by the sea in Washington, or sitting, blessed to sit by incredible friends on a dock. There will be many surprises in life, some will be good and some bad, whether we are surprised now or later what's really crucial is that we dwell in the Word of God now. This way, when the, "Storms of life they came and the road ahead gets steep, I will lift these hands in faith I will believe..." (Love Came Down, by Kari Job). My prayer for you is that right now you will be dwelling in the Word, pressing in and lifting your hands in faith both now and when the storms of life will come. 

       

Taking a Bath

So, for all you who like to sing in the shower...every afternoon as we would gather in the small village church in southeast Asia, for worship or intercession we would hear one of the teachers walking down to the river to bathe and he would be singing at the top of his lungs, unashamed! It was often my favorite part of the day, because no matter how exhausted we were from hard labor in the morning we would be in the presence of Jesus and then get to laugh at that familiar voice singing in his own language every day as he walked down to the river to take a bath! 

The other day I was working out at the YMCA on the mat and the woman beside me was humming to whatever music she was listening to on her iPod. It made me stop for a minute and turn my head to look at her. I had music playing from my own iPod, but isn't it interesting how often we turn our heads in America to the sound of music coming from someone's lips, unless it's on a concert stage? It took me back to the teacher going to bathe in the river and made me happy to think of people who just aren't afraid to sing! Whether its your shower or stretching on a mat, whatever your element, "I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn. I will praise you, Lord among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples." Psalm 108:1-3 Whatever helps you praise Him the most, please do that! 

Song of Songs 2:4

"Our God is Intimate"

Like a peaceful river His mercy flows

Reflecting from the sunsets is the joy of His face and longing to pour down delight on His children

He is a Lover looking for the lost 

Calling His Beloved to arise 

It doesn't matter the season, He is simply yet overwhelmingly there, like a resting place His grace overflows

Do not wait, "Arise my darling!" He beckons leaping over the hills

His longing is intimate as He beckons the broken to come close He announces His presence by wrapping His arms around the dirty

He is waiting for His beloved's

The prostitutes, orphaned, suburban alike each and everyone precious in His sight

The moon high up in the sky reflects His love for those down high 

His jealousy for them like a hurricane they are a tree

He is holy all creation will cry, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty the earth if filled with His glory."

He is smiling, delighting, hopeful for those to waken to their call to rise up as Beloved Ones

His banner over us is love

"Arise come my darling, my beautiful One come with me."

This is our God.

~Amen 

Stepping in the Gap

"Do you need help?"
     I ask, as the little boy has finished washing his hands and is having a bit of trouble opening the door by himself, because it is a heavy bathroom door to be able to open and close for a boy his size. 
     I help push it open for him and he walks out. About halfway in the bathroom, I see more clearly how he also is helping push the door open. I look into his big blue eyes and say, "You are strong!"
     His face lights up and he says nothing, but there is a confidence in his walk as he goes back to the classroom. 
    Soon, we are on our way to the gym and I am in the back of the line holding a little girl's hand. I reach to open the door to the gym and then almost out of nowhere, as I now look back at it, the same boy whose strength I encouraged, rushes up to the door and looking up into my eyes proclaims, "I am strong! I can hold it!"
     I smile widely and in gratitude reply, "Yes you can!" Together, we hold open the door, for the rest of us filing in, in the back of the line. 

This happened to me today at the daycare I work at and isn't this how it was meant to be? We have the voice of God on our lips that can encourage and help people on the other side of the door. They might not see it right away as we try to push the door open for them, they might try to help push it too, because the door will be too heavy for them to open by themselves, but although it may seem small or not a big deal, the impact of the words that come out of our mouth daily are intensely powerful! So, who are you stepping in the gap for? I feel such a strong tug on my heart towards discipleship. I do not want a every once and a while meeting to get the label for mentoring. I want a daily fulfilled lifestyle of speaking out that truth to the other person behind the door who is pushing, but might not be able to see their own strength right away. 

As I came to this conclusion while journaling I almost laughed out loud at how simple this truth was, "I can eternally trust God through any trial, is the joy of the Lord as my strength." The is might not make sense to you, but it really clicked for me. For it is through trust and walking forth in that ability when the storms come, that our true selves are tested and it is up to us to help push that door fully open. The joy of the Lord will then become our focus and thus, the ultimate One who really helps push open each and every door of our life. 

Why Wait?

A triangle, a snowball a shape
How grateful I am for these little escapes!
A little something new amidst this broken season, that seems to have no end
How grateful I am that our God is a great God of joy!
That as we ask him to take away what freezes us, He can shape us into something new
Get ready for the new shape
He can warm us with His grace
The grace of His simple pleasures taking shape amidst the fog of white,
That although we cannot see,
All there is, is white
This is the something new taking shape
He graces us...
And through the warmness of His grace
Is a new shape taking place,
If only we could see amidst the white, what He is doing, we can see the grace of warmness of His continual presences warming us
Take a look today amidst the frosty white
When you can't see clearly out the window
He is ushering us in
It's our choice to say yes, to the grace of His warmness
We don't have to wait until summer because the freshness can already start within us when we choose to open up the window of our hearts
It is then that the ice can freeze off and a fire can be set ablaze
Get ready 'cause its coming
HE IS COMING
Invite him to start taking you into Him, you are His desired one you've always  been desired in His eyes
For it is then that we don't have to wait for the snow or ice to melt
It can already start in our hearts
Invite others to see that green grass of a river of life flowing out of you today
For as we say yes to Him the easier it is for us to invite others to see out the window
And summer will come much more quickly as the newness of life begins to spring up in our hearts
Why wait?

Set Free to Dance

After a crazy day yesterday, at last I could sit down and take in a deep breath and relax in a calm atmosphere at a coffee shop. After a few different conversations between my best friend and I about where to meet and apologies back and forth because we were both late as usual, finally, we were together with kids from the high school we used to go to and relaxed listening to good music.

We stayed for about an hour at this coffee shop and then left to go Ballroom dancing in Minneapolis. After almost turning around once because we thought we were lost, we finally made it and I walked in a little freaked out, not having any idea what to expect, I had never been ballroom dancing before! "Its ok we are all really bad!" My friend reassured me as I met a couple of her friends and we got to have fun and laugh together. By the end of the night I was told by our new Italian friend, who we met there that I was like an energetic magnet! Apparently I was always ready to dance!  I got special attention since I was just learning and was consistently told to be calm and relax, face my partner and I would try not to step on their feet as I learned these fast new steps to a cha, cha, cha or tango, oh my goodness it was so much fun! As I had my quiet time this morning and thought about last night and the new memories I get to make as I really feel settled in again, I thought about how Jesus wants to have our, 'Special Attention,'  as I was just learning these new dances last night. I got a lot of grace and patience as I laughed and slowly learned these graceful steps.  Jesus tells us, "Now look at me and face forward..." just as I would learn to do last night I'm trying to put into practice, without looking to the right or to the left what Jesus is trying to tell me to do. "Now look at me and face forward, this is a slow dance, relax into it." So He wants to tell us even in the storms of life. That our trust in Him, would be such a constant abiding that we would be an example to others because we are choosing to face forward to Christ. Even in the storms of life they can also be a slow dance because we know we can dance in the trust of steps to who our partner is. 

Never Alone

Ok, so we've hit a lot of insecurities lately, that Jesus has been revealing to me in these last two posts. I know that I should never apologize for thinking too much, but its something I tend to be very good at! Thinking, over-thinking and then forgetting to pray about what I've been thinking about and that should be the first step that I turn to when I have a lot on my mind! So, as Jesus continues to take me apart in order to set me apart to be made more holy like Him, I've been wondering about the biggest fear that we often face as women that being-abandonement. Why are we so afraid to be left alone? 

God gave me a picture while I was struggling once in Thailand, this is actually a real picture that hangs on my dad's wall in his classroom. It's of a very muscly guy with no shirt on holding a little baby. Jesus showed me that I was like that baby, Jesus is very strong and holding me. As we were taught week one while I was living in Washington, "It's always a party of four!" Meaning, it's always you, the Holy Spirit, Jesus and the Father walking by your side. A comforting verse I found while God gave me this picture in Thailand of Him holding me, was a psalm that stated that we should walk securely since God is by our side and walking with us. It helped me hold my head up as I missed my family and had to adapt to village life for the next 7 or so days to realize that with God by my side, holding me and helping me walk securely in Him should never make me fear being alone! We need the company and reassurance of others, but as women it's my prayer for us to begin to walk securely in whatever life He has called us to. Whether that be the village in Thailand or working in an office everyday. Here's Jesus wanting to hold you tenderly and yet say, "Walk securely! Do not fear I am holding you with you and walking right beside you." 

Be at Rest

This may sound really simple, but something that is significant that's on my mind to write about is: God wants to take off your blindfold. Sometimes as a part of recognizing God's grace and who He is in our lives we don't even notice Him beside us telling us not to worry! One of the constant reminders that He keeps reassuring me of is simply, "Be at rest." This is difficult for me because I weigh much on myself like wanting to get back to work and connect with people. 

I'd like to challenge you with a quote from a book that I'm reading right now called, "Wild at Heart," first let me preface with this: don't ever start to think that you are unworthy for a certain calling or something that you know God is pressing on your heart to embark on. So here it is out of the many quotes I could've pulled out this one really stuck out with me to share with you, "Do you know why God loves writing such incredible stories? Because He loves to come through. He loves to show us that He has what it takes." I challenge you with this as an encouragement today. He's right there beside you that even though it may seem like a dark time where you are struggling, He is simply nudging you and like He will whisper to me say, "Do you trust me?" Trust me, it's worth it when you reply to Him and although its simple to say, "Yes." He will come through for you as He has done for me because whatever calling He has placed on your life it is sure to be and is an incredible story when we trust Him. 

Amazing Grace

I have been wondering what to write about first as I begin to unpack this trip. What is hitting me the hardest is how thankful I am for the church. This doesn't have to do with finances, although I cannot begin to thank everyone enough for that and for your prayers for my team and I, but I want to tell you is a story about a temple and a church I visited in Southeast Asia.

 I remember it like it was yesterday. Walking up the stairs to this temple and having to ask my friend if we could walk up with our elbows locked and a word of prayer on our lips as I was hit with an overwhelming shock of mixed emotions. I saw the beggars with no limbs. I heard chanting music. I smelled the smoke being offered up to their ancestors and it broke my heart as I was rocked with the reality that these sweet people really didn't know where they were going after they died and it was a generational fear. It is a routine to come to this temple, bow down to the idols and force their kids to do it too because as a part of their culture, one did not want to mess up this religious curse, I'll call it, that has been continually passed down. As I watched one family bow down to an idol the tears came rushing down and I had to take a minute to gather my emotions as I wrapped my head around the truth that these people don't know that their lives are at stake because they haven't heard the truth of the gospel.

 I will never forget this moment, but don't worry it gets a lot better.

 There's this place called a church. It's sometimes difficult to find, but once you walk in there it is a feeling of Amazing Grace, both when you sing it out and when you walk in with your bare feet and the villagers offer you nuts or whatever they have that is their very best because you are a foreigner and they want to give you the very best they have.

 It's hard being a Christian they say, all over Southeast Asia, but as one Koran boy told a member of our group:   he felt bad for us because it is hard since we have so much luxury that we don't have to depend on God. I think it is, for us, a matter of recognizing God. Yes, he may feel bad for us, but when we take a deep breath and perhaps we are dropped to our knees because we see, we really see God's grace, and when we take the time too look at it and sing, "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me..." we recognize that we are wretch's and that we are all in need of that sweet deep reminder of grace especially when you take a moment to recognize it, please don't forget to recognize that today.

Be blessed, church!