Leading Yourself

I've had a longing in my heart since I was a young girl, to go to India. My heart was grieved, when I saw on the front cover of a magazine, a soldier holding a baby from India. The title on the front cover read something to the effect of, "Who will help them?" My little heart probably around age of 7 or 8, felt like it was about to break. I remember going into my room and crying, when we got home from the grocery store that day. My mom knocked on my door, asked me what was wrong and when I explained to her, about my broken heart over the lost, she held me and told me that this was an ok thing to be crying about! The picture of the baby being held by a soldier and the cry in my heart to help others has never gone away. A week ago, I got a text from a friend that told me the exciting news, that for our next outreach we will be leading we'll spend two months in India!!!!! I almost cried in joy and excitement knowing full well that God has been preparing my heart for this moment of going to that country for many years. So, here's where I'm at now. In January, I will be helping lead a two month outreach, but I have a whole summer to work and raise support to go back to Washington State, in the fall where I will be apart of a Basic Leadership School. My heart is bursting at its seams with joy! But what do I do now in the midst of the waiting, testing, and the hot two months ahead, of July and August? I learn to lead myself. The press on my heart is, if I cannot lead myself, than how will I be capable of leading others? So, with the two months of waiting ahead for this next season of my life, I will begin to teach myself even simple life skills, like learning how to cook challenging meals in the kitchen. If we don't know how to 

deal with our own attitudes in response to others and difficult situations how can we expect to lead others? As Peter says in the gospel of Luke 5:8, "Master, leave. I'm a sinner and can't handle this holiness. Leave me to myself." Then at the end of this passage it tell us, "They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed Him." There's a maturity that comes with being aware of our own sinfulness, but a joy everlasting that is the adventure of being willing, to leave everything behind and follow the Master. Trust me, its worth it!

Free Punch in the Face

You know all those t-shirts that have, "Free Hug!" written on them? Well, years ago when my family and I were at Sonshine Christian Music Festival, my mom had been talking about how many people really like to offer their free hugs at music festivals, so as she had been walking around the booths at this festival, she noticed a really tough looking young lady wearing a t-shirt that said, "Free Punch in the Face!" Isn't that hilarious? We still tell this story a lot in my family!  

Your probably reading this thinking...what? Free punch in the face what is that all about? Let me give you an example and jump to the point. So, one of my leaders at this base says to me a lot, "Get over it! Suck it up, buttercup!" It drives me crazy! But hey, here's the thing, today when I had a bad cold and woke up with a sore throat, I was told that me and my fellow interns would be doing evangelism in town this morning. Climbing into the van, I was worn out and emotional, my leader kept telling me to get over it and I was so upset! However, my leader and his wife along with my fellow interns, surprised me by taking me out to coffee in honor of my birthday coming up! I got really emotional in the coffee shop, when I was so happy to hear that they wanted to take me out for my birthday and the man working behind the counter handed me my coffee and said, "This is inspired by your emotions!" We all laughed! My challenge and prayer for you is that when you see Jesus face to face someday and He shakes your hand will He be inspired by your emotions your perseverance to get over it, even when you just want to crawl back into bed! With the free life God offers us, we are able to turn that free punch in the face around, to inspire others by how we choose to persevere. Knowing there is someone who we can trust, helping us work through our emotions even when we cannot see Him. He is there working behind the counter with us and helping us in the midst of our daily lives. 

And Still You Know Me

While I was overseas, one of our leaders got a word from the Lord for me, they told me that, God wants to reveal to me how well He knows me. I had gotten my name misspelled on my plane ticket and between 6 different plane rides overseas, to our first destination, it was pretty tense going through customs, wondering if any of the security was going to notice my name and if they did notice, I would've had to stay in an airport with a leader while the rest of our team got to make it to our final destination. Through a lot of prayer God helped me make it through all of customs. Without any security noticing one misspelled letter on my name!

 Many of you know that I still have a special place in my heart for the country of India, I still have that seed planted in my heart of wanting to go there. God renewed a picture in my mind, that He had given me during my first month overseas, of a lot of Indian children crawling all over me, laughing as I let them love me and I loved them in return! Seeing children on the streets, while I was overseas, even though I was not in India grew a longing in my heart for wanting to take care of children who have been abused. God also has set a flame in my heart of wanting to take care of missionaries. Its a goal of mine to earn my masters in counseling and healthcare, through YWAM. He's planted a dream in my heart of wanting to provide a safe house, full of kids and missionaries to come rest while I know how to take care of them mentally and physically. Not only is this my dream, but it is also God's dream that He has planted in my heart. Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." The more time we spend with God in His presence the more He longs to invite you to know Him better and reveal to you how well He knows you too! "You hung the stars and You move the sea and still You know me!"-Stephanie Frizzel (Bethel Music).

Simplicity of Diversity

As I sip on my carmel latte in my happy place by the sea, I am surrounded by artists, musicians, hippies and backpackers. I have come to a realization, of how much I love the simplicity of diversity. I know that some people really don't enjoy spending time with people who are different then them, I however, depending on the scenario love these adventures! 
  
This weekend, I went camping at a place called Salt Creek in Washington State. Every night, I would curl up in my sleeping bag smelling like a bonfire and hear the sound of the waves crashing behind the tent. One of the young people who I was camping with has a very negative attitude. I really enjoyed being around him because despite our polar opposite attitudes we actually got along very well! A lot of times, the unexpectedness of people and whatever it is that makes them different than your personality has a lesson to teach us. His attitude, taught me to be more positive and as he would complain sometimes I'd laugh and comment about how much he cracked me up which a brought a smile to his face. My second realization, is how much I love to be around people. I never expected Washington State to become like a new home for me. Minnesota will always be my home, but Washington has become a place my soul hungers to learn as well as flourishes to come alive. Both places have had deep impacts on my life, but its crucial that we all have that place where our souls can flourish and grow within the diversity around us. The simplicity of diversity is realizing the difference of those around us whether that's my own family back in Minnesota, or the hippie to my left in this coffee shop. It's realizing that we don't have to be complicated and over think in order to reach a common ground with the people who God puts in our life. For me, when it comes to diversity the common ground is realizing how simple it is. Ask God how to reach out to the people who are different from you in whatever simple way you can. I simply need to engage in the story God has placed me in right now, stories will flow out of the life I choose to live.

Junkyard or Art?

Words cannot do it justice compared to the feeling of your toes sinking in the sand, or hearing the waves crashing on the shore or the familiar laughter of the hippies talking about their latest adventure! I spent the evening in Port Townsend and there is truly no place like it, at least none that I could begin to think of! If you have walked the streets of this small town or even driven through it you might get a glimpse of the uniqueness and simplicity of this town, but something that really caught my eye today, as I sat talking to a couple of friends of mine was the display to my left. I'm not even going to try to describe it to you because it is just simply a weird kind of beautiful! I couldn't make up my mind to try to decide about whether it looked like a lot of junk or art! I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to make up my mind about the endless possibilities that I could try to think of, of what to name this place. I think there are some places that God puts us in where we are simply meant to be and dwell there. I wouldn't be surprised if during Jesus' time on earth that this would have been one of his favorite hang out places to simply be and dwell amongst the people. He saw the beauty and weirdness of humanity and that was His favorite place to be right in the middle of it all:) 

Where You Lead Me

 I could be safe

 I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home, never let these walls down

But You have called me higher, You have called me deeper 

And I will go where You will lead me Lord

Where You lead me...

        There are a lot of weirdos in this artsy community I find myself living in, for 3 more weeks as I am a part of a leadership internship. One of our outreaches is helping out with the local youth group at the church nearby my base. Many of the kids at this church do not understand the faithfulness of God because of abandonment from their parents and the town that is by my base is influenced by a lot of drugs. So, when we had this amazing night last week of breakthrough and prayer for these kids hearing that God's faithfulness is just the way He is, was an amazing new concept for them! I don't know what your back-round  is or what community of influence you find yourself in, but I want to encourage you to look at the youth or community and ask yourself if they know what it safety means or if they can grasp the concept of faithfulness. You as a believer, have the power of Christ in you to daily offer an example of God's faithfulness based on how you treat them. I want to encourage you to YouTube the song, "Higher," by All Sons and Daughters and make it your daily prayer , it doesn't have to take you going on a plane somewhere to show the limitless love of God's faithfulness to someone it can be your family or co-workers, simply asking God, to daily lead you has the power to change your life and the lives of others!

Plan to be Surprised (Part 2)

There was never a part 1, to the last blog post, but do we ever plan on having a part 1 and 2 when it comes to being surprised? I've made a decision to return to YWAM and part of that next step will be me leaving in two weeks, to fly back out for an internship that I will be doing on the West Coast. 
       I was recently asked the question, "What makes you come alive?" Think about it. It took me awhile to, because whether I am at home, at a friends, or traveling to a foreign country, so many things can make me smile and thankful to be alive! I think the key that I realized to unlocking my heart to come alive, was when I had this mini revelation yesterday. Sitting, on the favorite corner of my couch I turned to my dad and said, "Dad, I think I just had this mini revelation. I am so blessed. I have been given so much and I don't ever want to take this life for granted, but when I think about how much I've been given it also makes me think of how much I have to give!" This is what unlocks my heart to come alive, the willingness to lay it all down. 
       "I want to love with much more abandon and stop waiting for others to love me first. I want to hurl myself at a creative work worthy of God. I want to follow Peter as he followed Christ out onto the sea, pray from my hearts true desire. Life is not a problem to be solved, but an adventure to be lived." -John Eldredge, Wild at Heart.