Preparations

Its funny to me the different seasons of life, we find ourselves in. With only a 13 day countdown (not counting today), until I move into college, one of the biggest preparations on my mind, is my writing. I'll be taking a junior level class on, "Fiction Writing," for my English credit. I can't wait for this challenge, but during the next 13 days, even when it comes to messaging my friends, writing well and wanting to improve my writing, is on my mind. My favorite summer read, "The Wanderer," has different sections of the book, the first being, "Preparations," as they are fixing repairs on a boat that will take them from Connecticut to Europe, I can only imagine the amount of work that would take to prepare a boat for that much amount of time and travel! Having traveled across the world, I know what preparing for a long journey is like, but sometimes, the hardest part of preparing for the next chapter in my life, is the waiting that ties into it. C.S. Lewis sums it up well when he says, "Hardships often prepare ordinary people, for an extraordinary destiny." I'll never forget the friends who have sometimes without saying and other times said it word for word, looked me in the eye and said, "I believe in you and your destiny." I now know the belief and preparation that I cling to, knowing that I have an extraordinary destiny ahead of me, as do you, because everything that we are doing, is preparing us for something. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." 

We can Rejoice Too

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance." -Romans 5:3, this verse makes me laugh when it comes to running. One of the biggest lessons I have learned as it comes to training for this 26.2 mile run is that besides the soreness of my knees or my legs wanting to cave in, the real issue so often is one of the brain. How we control our thoughts when we run, especially for me, when I would run just for fun before training for this marathon, there wouldn't be a single run for me where I did not put in my headphones and turn up my music loud to distract me from the physical challenge. Now, as I run I find my biggest problem to be paying attention. Paying attention, meaning that I want to know more what's going on when it comes to running every mile, refusing to put in those headphones to help my focus more on my form and knowing how I can improve, whether that's not crossing my arms in front of me or mentally getting into that rhythm of each step telling myself, "Light feet, light feet, here we go light feet..." I'm known for stomping when it comes to running on a treadmill or even on a gravel road and so keeping my feet light is something that helps me endure, when it comes to running and training for this race. Lastly, my biggest fear is letting fear define each run as I push to finish my training. I love that this verse says that we can rejoice too. My biggest goal in all this training is to have fun. I don't want to lose sight even on that 12 mile run without headphones in, of the truth that we can rejoice too. Thinking of the money I am raising and the children who will be receiving fresh water wells for the rest of their lives, is enough for me to find that joy again. So, what's the mental problem that you need to endure? Where is the trial that you can persevere through whether it's coming up with a rhythm of setting one foot in front of the other, or wanting to pay attention to what we also can rejoice in. Its up to you really. It can be as simple as deciding to give it your all during the last 10 minutes of your work shift, or finding joy in even the most challenging of whatever your facing. As I've already stated, the biggest lesson I am and still learning in all this training is that we can rejoice too. Finding the fun amidst the heat, the physical pain or not wanting to get up in the morning to run those three miles has been the most rewarding when I choose joy in the midst of wanting to give up, joy in the midst of wanting to stay in bed, joy knowing that with each $50 I raise I am able to save a life of someone who I will probably never get to meet, but who I will pray to have the joy of getting to spend eternity with. Where will you decide to choose joy? 

My early birthday presents

As its been awhile since I've written anything, what's really on my mind is this turning point, I've felt, since a week and a half trip up to my grandparents. Maybe its because I'm getting older or who really knows what, but as I get more hands off with what I want as gifts from family and friends, the last few days have been a special reminder to me of the gift of time and the value each person carries of who they are. Saturday and last Thursday, were two days that I got to slow down and really enjoy the gifts God has given me that come without any cost. One of my favorite things of summertime is seeing people who I don't usually get to see and the spontaneity that summer can bring. Thursday, besides being awesomely productive in the morning, I was able to reconnect with two of my neighbor friends who I'd grown up with shooting baskets, talking about flashlight tag and then amidst all the fun and excitement of catching up outside, we'd realized that the dog had run away, so the next few minutes was an adventure of trying to find their dog, much to our relief she was found within the next 10 minutes or so. "The chaos doesn't end 'til the chaos is over!" Exclaimed one of our close friends this past Saturday, as we all sat around after getting our hands messy with the yummy goodness of a shrimp boil, the blessing of prayer for those moving on and putting our feet up to speak out good memories and laugh together. As I was telling a friend yesterday, I actually feel like this birthday, will make me feel older. I'm no longer a teenager and I am ready for my 20's! As I get even more hands off with the costly things and cling more tightly to those who I can see only rare and far between, I'm realizing that the greatest gift for me right now is the gift of time that others give. The new memories we can make together and the importance of living a good story. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty excited to feel spoiled, blessed and eat too much cake, but more than anything this past year has taught me how valuable people really are. The importance of being hands off comes with a greater desire to hug, build up and love on those who truly love you back. Cheers to another year of, clinging to my loved ones, being hands off of the costly things and holding more tightly to that which is free and laughing without fear of the future. 

Maybe I'm just Getting Used to It

Four steps of culture shock are something that travelers, missionaries and anybody can go through when they return from a big event in their lives. Yesterday, as many of you have seen liked and commented on the picture that announces my college acceptance, I found myself repeating this phrase at least four times during dinner it went something like this, "Maybe I'm just getting used to it..." When your transitioning, returning, entering into a new chapter or all of the above, there is a lot to readjust to. I'd like to list off four stages of culture shock, they can happen both when your in another country and when you are returning:
1. Honeymoon-can last the whole trip, enjoying it
2. Hate it, everything
3. Everything's funny
4. Everything's normal-like being home.
I think I've finally made it to number four, since being back, but I've gone through all 4, both at home as well as on the field. After reading a missionary's blog titled, "Rocky Re-entry," I loved a post she wrote regarding the gift of time. I found what I'd been missing this season. It comes down to one word. Gratitude. So simple, so easy, so often missed. Time is precious, time is a gift and is the most valuable lesson I've learned. Thanking God for every moment, thanking Him for the time I got to go to the country of my dreams, thanking Him that I've been accepted to college and thanking Him on the days where I ache for my friends on the West Coast. I don't remember which team leader on my last trip asked this question, but as I look back on my notes from one of our team meetings it hits me, "What is God already doing, that hasn't been done?" *Focus on Lordship, Jesus is the only Lord. Duh, right? Not so duh, when you are in another country that keeps idols all over their homes right next to a picture of Jesus. When your excited about going to an Arts and Crafts store, literally titled that and it ends up being an idol shop. When the lordship of Jesus becomes our focus and we turn our eyes to what work hasn't been completed example, unreached people groups worshiping false idols, co-workers not knowing the love of Jesus or lonely people simply in need of a friend...gratitude for what He's done for us un-clutters what demands our attention. The lyrics of a song ring in my head, as I approach this new day in full gratitude. I might not be walking the dirty streets of Kolkata or in a Bermese refugee village, gratitude is still here and now and there is no turning back for me:

"Christ is enough for me,

Christ is enough for me,

Everything I need is in you,

Everything I need. I have decided to follow Jesus,

No turning back

No turning back..."-Christ is Enough for Me, Hillsong

What a Wonderful World

I've been reflecting a lot about India. My godmother is getting married this weekend and that's another new chapter I can't wait to celebrate with her! When, we were asked to do the music for her wedding, my mom assigned me to sing, "What a Wonderful World." As I stood in my living room, standing by the piano, I closed my eyes during the lyrics of, "I see friends shaking hands singing how do you do..." I couldn't help, but smile and laugh out loud, as I thought of a time back in Kolkata. We were walking around a village, stopping in for house visits and praying over the grounds. A older Indian man came out of his house excited to see us Americans, smiling he talked very quickly all the English he knew at once! "Hello! How are you? Happy Birthday!" It was hilarious and caught all of us by surprise! As I sing this song, in celebration of new chapters in life, I will be closing my eyes and thinking, what a wonderful world it is, all of the different people I've seen and the different ways they say how do you do! Yes, there is heartache and earthquakes, as well as those of us who have lost loved ones close to us, I don't think our loved ones, would want us living everyday in despair, at the days to come, yet it is crucially important to grieve for them. However, in honor of those who I've lost and the countries I long to be in, I will raise my glass in a toast, to the wonderful world it is! Let's not waste a minute in all that we have to celebrate! Its true, each new chapter, carries it own hardships, challenges, but let's not forget about its new laughs!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs at the days to come." -Proverbs 31:25, this is my prayer for all of you, whether male or female, whether you are going through a transition or not. May you never lose the gift of laughter and raise your glass in a toast with me, as together, let's close our eyes and reflect on the wonderful world it is. 

Embracing the Chaos 101

Chaos=complete disorder and confusion. 

I'd like to give you a couple of scenarios that have happened to me as I've been in a in the meantime season. As many of you know, I have been preparing for the ACT test. I never took it my senior year, because besides being in full track season, I was also support raising and getting a job. So, back to the here and now. Everyday has been going back to the basics of broadening the horizons of my mind. Do you ever have those moments where you just need to freak out about something big that's going to happen and then after you freak out you feel a lot better? That's how I was yesterday on the way to the class I was taking to prepare for my ACT. I had crammed in all my English and Reading homework that afternoon thinking those were the two subjects I'd be covering that day. I arrived, breathing a bit better and ready to save the world. I sat with my math and reading teacher I confidently explained to him how well I had done with my English and Reading homework, because today is english and reading, right? Nope, he says. However, instead of covering the two pages of math homework that I hadn't done yet, we ended up covering Science, English and Reading. I'm so thankful and blessed by these teachers I've had and gotten to laugh with, while re-learning Math with. I'd never been so happy in my life to be told to just focus on my Math homework!

Second scenario, I am at work at Kids Stuff, at the YMCA. Its crazy in there. We have anywhere from about 15 kids at a time to 30 something. My favorite part of the shift, is when a child will ask me to read to him or her and then I have about 10 or more crowding around me trying to get a glimpse of the story I am telling. Although the room is loud and kids will sometimes walk around with their fingers in their ears because they can't stand the noise, its my pleasure to open up my arms and hold them on my lap reassuring them that this too will pass and how can I best take care of them and help them have the most fun in the meantime? I think this is a great picture of God's heart for us. When we are in the meantime and either having to embrace days of chaos with 4 hrs of study and 3 hours on the job. Will we embrace it and let the God of all comfort hold us and let Him take care of us? I love the picture of God holding me in His lap, because that is how I love to comfort the kids I am put in charge of. I heard this quote during my lecture phase of staffing a DTS, that I will never forget I hope you find comfort in this as you hear about how much God the Father longs to hold you: 

"He knows you by the perspective that you are the only one on earth. Your glowing and you don't even know it. Stop being so hard on yourself and be more curious about the Father."-Kenny Peavy, Holy Spirit. 

Hope for the Future/Missing my Homelands

Today, I write this wearing my Irish sweater and punjami top, missing all my countries and places, that have become like second and third homes in my heart. This morning, I told God, "I miss India!" My time with God helped sooth my soul, but I had to move on drive to work and get started on my shift. What happened next, brought me back to one of my favorite places in the world.  I entered into the YMCA, where I work at Kids Stuff, and as I opened up the door, headed upstairs, I was surprised to see that all the lights were off in the building. Everyone in the facility, had gathered down in the lobby and it wasn't until I made it upstairs, that I found out what happened. The power had stopped working! As parents were gathered upstairs, picking up their kids and having to leave,  God had brought India to me! You see, in India they have power outages all the time! We had them almost every other day in both places we lived! Then, I had to wait for an hour to see if the power would go back on and I would be able to finish my two hours, I had left to work. I was back on IST, (Indian Stretchable Time). The time I had gathered there, at the YMCA, waiting, connecting with other co-workers and being able to finish my two extra hours, brought me the joy I needed. To make me feel at home and to get a little taste back of India in my heart. 

There is a hope for my future, for yours...as I enter back into what may appear to be a more ordinary way of life, I am learning that ministry can happen right where your at and it doesn't have to be a scheduled event. God's reminded me to love the person in front of me right where I'm at and to not take these little things for granted. As I enter back into part time jobs, getting ready to head back to school, I'm snapping back into slowly, but surely, the everyday life of what I did back in India, all over Asia, and the West Coast. That was simply loving people. It was worth the effort for me today to get out of my house get all the snow off my car and drive up to work. Look at the story I get to tell you about now! When people ask me what my ministry is now, or what I am doing in the meantime, I tell them, my focus is loving people and listening to them. These are my hopes for the future. I have many, goals, dreams, passions and plans, but right now I am simply loving the person in front of me right where they are at. I did it for two months in India with a whole different culture, and that is exactly what I am doing now. I'm loving the person in front of me at my work, my family and friends, the college I'm going to, and every moment in between. When we take the time to listen to someone its exciting to discover something new, that you could've never known before, I often find that, when I take the time to listen and love the person right in front of me, the person in front of me, is much more often, more than willing to take the time to listen to me in return:)