Hope for the Future/Missing my Homelands

Today, I write this wearing my Irish sweater and punjami top, missing all my countries and places, that have become like second and third homes in my heart. This morning, I told God, "I miss India!" My time with God helped sooth my soul, but I had to move on drive to work and get started on my shift. What happened next, brought me back to one of my favorite places in the world.  I entered into the YMCA, where I work at Kids Stuff, and as I opened up the door, headed upstairs, I was surprised to see that all the lights were off in the building. Everyone in the facility, had gathered down in the lobby and it wasn't until I made it upstairs, that I found out what happened. The power had stopped working! As parents were gathered upstairs, picking up their kids and having to leave,  God had brought India to me! You see, in India they have power outages all the time! We had them almost every other day in both places we lived! Then, I had to wait for an hour to see if the power would go back on and I would be able to finish my two hours, I had left to work. I was back on IST, (Indian Stretchable Time). The time I had gathered there, at the YMCA, waiting, connecting with other co-workers and being able to finish my two extra hours, brought me the joy I needed. To make me feel at home and to get a little taste back of India in my heart. 

There is a hope for my future, for yours...as I enter back into what may appear to be a more ordinary way of life, I am learning that ministry can happen right where your at and it doesn't have to be a scheduled event. God's reminded me to love the person in front of me right where I'm at and to not take these little things for granted. As I enter back into part time jobs, getting ready to head back to school, I'm snapping back into slowly, but surely, the everyday life of what I did back in India, all over Asia, and the West Coast. That was simply loving people. It was worth the effort for me today to get out of my house get all the snow off my car and drive up to work. Look at the story I get to tell you about now! When people ask me what my ministry is now, or what I am doing in the meantime, I tell them, my focus is loving people and listening to them. These are my hopes for the future. I have many, goals, dreams, passions and plans, but right now I am simply loving the person in front of me right where they are at. I did it for two months in India with a whole different culture, and that is exactly what I am doing now. I'm loving the person in front of me at my work, my family and friends, the college I'm going to, and every moment in between. When we take the time to listen to someone its exciting to discover something new, that you could've never known before, I often find that, when I take the time to listen and love the person right in front of me, the person in front of me, is much more often, more than willing to take the time to listen to me in return:)

Unspeakable Joy

I'm thinking about Kolkata a lot more than I ever thought I would. I'll never forget having to spend 20-30 minutes on the phone ordering wraps, because the only restaurant we all loved we were either tired of going to over and over again or it was closed, or the pollution and dust that could make you cough at any given moment also made it difficult to breathe. I talked to a lot of people before leaving, about how excited I was to get to work in the slums in Kolkata, like Mother Teresa. The reason why I bring up the conditions we were living under, is to try to make you understand the joy God gave me to help cope through what could have stirred up frustrations with the things we so often take for granted, like where we get our meals from, or even just breathing fresh air! One time, I was having a really hard day, for those of you who have talked to me already, you may know that most of the time, I was in India I was sick. I had a consistent cold and the pollution wasn't helping. On this day, that I was struggling, with anything from a runny nose to a cough or exhaustion, we had to wait up to an hour for our contact to show up because he got stuck in traffic. While we waited we all got some chai and sat in front of our favorite restaurant that was closed, trying to decide what to do. What if our contact didn't show up? Did we go into our restaurant for lunch and try to do ministry with our waiters, or go back to our base and prayer walk? Another half hour or so went by and as we finished our chai a short Indian man riding a motorcycle, drove right up to us! Introducing himself as our contact, he helped us all get into different taxi's and we followed him to a slum school, where we would be helping kids with their school work. By then, I was still frustrated with my physical conditions, but endured the taxi ride. What I was about to encounter was the joy of the Lord as my strength. I stepped out of the taxi with two friends, by the way our taxi drive almost got us lost on the way there, but knowing by now, God really wanted us at this slum school, we headed in as the last 3 to show up. I will never get how tiny this school was, the different ages, differences in learning skills and the big smiles that greeted us as we walked in. Guess what we got to do? Teach English! Something I had done for two weeks in Thailand, last February, not my favorite ministry tool, but by now I've gotten over that, knowing God has me in different countries for big reasons like teaching English. As we sat down and partnered up with a student, I immediately felt a connection with an older girl in her mid teens, clearly feeling out of place with all these small children, who were just learning the alphabet. What can I teach her? I thought, as we looked each other in the eye, I smiled introduced myself and getting out her pencil and paper, I decided that we weren't going to be learning from the school books today. Today, I would teach her how to sing about joy. Most of you should be familiar with the song, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart to stay!" It was chaos in the classroom, but my favorite kind of chaos. The giggles, singing and everyone grabbing at once for the erasers to erase their mistakes and try again. Meanwhile, I was over in the corner, with my new friend, literally, writing out the love of Jesus down in her heart. I didn't know if she was a Christian or not, but because she clearly knew the lesson plans that the rest of the kids were doing, I was up for the challenge of teaching her something new. 

What really got to me was at the end when she had learned the song and the slum children wanted to sing for us in Hindi. Then we sang for them in English. After they were done singing in Hindi as well as singing one song in English, we sang in English, "I've got the joy, joy, joy...." seeing her know the song as we all proclaimed it in the slum school, I felt the strength of the Lord rising in my bones to smile and look her in the eye knowing the barriers I had got to break today. This is the joy of the Lord I am talking about. The unspeakable joy that isn't always super giddy and excited all the time, this is the joy that keeps us going despite our physical condition or where God may decide to plant us for three weeks, that rock our worlds beyond our wildest comprehensions. I walked out of that slum school a different person. Forgetting about the runny nose, cough, lack of sleep and my own hunger, I embraced the girl who I got to sing with and walked away with my rest of the team, back to the taxi's, ready for whatever wild ride God wanted to take on next.

Take a Moment

This morning I woke up, for some reason, as I was lying in bed and I got up to make myself breakfast all I could think about, was how much I wanted to write. Sitting at my kitchen table, sipping my coffee, I am reminded quite vividly of a time in Kolkata, India, worshiping on a rooftop with another YWAM team, from Perth, Australia. I woke up with this image in my head. Two teams from two different countries getting together to worship over one nation. Kolkata, is crazy, unlike anywhere I can begin to describe of where I have traveled before. What keeps hitting me about this situation, of our two teams worshiping on the roof was the lyrics to the song we were singing, "Take a Moment," the lyrics that keep hitting me as I remember raising my hand and proclaiming this over the city were, "Take a moment to remember, who God is and who I am. There you go lifting my load again. Your lifting my load. Your lifting my load. Your lifting my load. Your lifting my load. His yoke is easy, His burden is so light."

As I lay awake in bed this morning, all I could think about was, "If God can use two teams to come together in worship, from two different sides of the world, and sing a song about God taking our burdens, can't I believe that here in America, He can easily lift my own load too?" Why is it so easy to proclaim this over a city, but sometimes more difficult to believe in the day to day schedules? Its what I choose to believe. That He can lift my load of studying, cleaning the house for people to come and setting up meetings to go back to work. If He can easily lift an entire load of a nation because He is God, than why is it we try to carry these burdens of daily living by ourselves?  Today, I choose to let God lift my burdens instead of trying to carry them all on my own. If He so longs to lift the load of an entire nation, imagine how joyful it makes Him for one person to step out in faith to believe He can carry their load. 

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." -Mathew 11:28, The Message.  

Why Go?

The question you are all wondering, or maybe the question that hopefully gets answered, when your able to sit and talk with me face to face, about what happens when you are on the field. One of the many things that really stuck out to me about why I choose to go on the field was when I was on the border of India, by Nepal. We had attended our last church service and had, had an inspiring message by a lady from Nepal. She talked about how we usually don't like broken things, but how that is exactly what God's heart is for, broken people, restoring the messes we made. Later, after the service she asked our group what we were doing there. When we explained to her why we were there she was very impressed and I will never forget her response, "You don't see a lot of young people on the field. Usually, because parents don't like to see their children suffer and fear them going out to places like this." Why are we so afraid of suffering? There are so many different ways of suffering, but in the sense when you are living on the field suffering, may simply just look like living without the comforts you are used too at home on a daily basis, quite honestly that tends to be one of the hardest part for me. I mean, if you are willing to share a bed with two extra people and live in a boys home where  boys are orphaned and need that mother touch you would be willing to give up that extra space of sleep so you can live there a week wouldn't you? Or maybe the pastor who you are serving has had a difficult time with teams in the past, but because he has invited you all to his New Year's party you eat the food, (although you are eating with your right hand and don't always know exactly what it is you are putting in your mouth), but because your team is interacting, literally your hands are being touched by these people that are so desperate for prayer, the pastor now has a renewed heart because you have given up the comfort of talking to your own people and stepped out in faith. Despite the language barriers and different skin color you have decided to pray, dance and eat with these people. Is it really that simple? You bet. If all we are afraid of is giving up that extra space, or deciding to go mingle with people of a different race than can you imagine the difference you can make right where you are by giving up the simple things, to help impact the kingdom of God?!!! 

This is why I've chosen to go. Its why I still choose to go right where I am. I choose to go to musical practices and love on the high schoolers. Getting to hear their hearts for the orphans and encourage them right where they are at. I choose to go to whatever field God calls me to, because I know that dying to self, giving up my own rights can break barriers into different cultures and possibly even welcome more teams in to stay and serve with a pastor who had not had the best impression of teams in the past. This is the choice we can make today. Right where you are. It doesn't always mean flying to India, it most certainly can, but I know for a fact that just yesterday, by my choosing to go to a simple musical practice, I was so blessed to feel a part of a crowd again and get loved on, while also loving others. The simple choice to go and possibly giving up of your own rights to your own comfort zones can make a difference right where you are. Do it now. Do it today and don't waste a second. Going is crucial, but so is the rest we must find in God. Half the time I am having to say no to these invitations, simply because I need the rest after the intense last 6 months, I have had of helping lead a team. I don't have one single regret in how I chose to go and I'm not having a single regret of when I say, "I need to rest, so that I can have the rest of God." My friends, family, everyone, the best place to minister is out of a place of rest. Both choices will influence how we choose to go. The choice is yours and I hope these next few blog posts, don't discourage or pressure you, my heart is always to build up and to share stories of how I've witnessed miracles by simple small acts of love. These usually, quite simply begin by choosing to step outside of our comfort zones, that end up breaking barriers for the kingdom of God. 

Ready to Go

I'll probably be packing and repacking until Sunday, the day I leave, the day I am headed out of the country for the next two months. It irritated me at first. The business woman with a check list of to do's coming out of me, wondering why on earth everything couldn't be ready at a certain date at a certain time so this could all be finished. Then it hit me, thinking about all I have shoved into a drawer back at base, that still needs to fit into my hiking backpack, right now I have the blessing to rest and sometimes that is the hardest part. 

Truth is, I was ready for anything. Ready for the text that we'd be going back to places I'd already been too, what I wasn't ready for was dreams coming true. Are we ever ready for that? These are my last thoughts, before shutting down devices that help protect our security while overseas and these are the words I hope you remember, when you don't see the link to my blog popping up on your news feed. The moment dreams come true and as hard as the resting can be, these are the exact moments that prepare us, for the hope and future God has in mind for us. He has taken me places I already couldn't have dreamed of, because they were His dreams. I picture God holding my hand and then covering my eyes saying, "Amelia, I have a surprise for you!" Sometimes, I think I know all there is to know about what He is preparing me for, but most of the time its His pleasure to blow my mind and hear me laugh. I hope you have dreams. Dreams that even though they might seem like dreams to you, God can transform them into His dreams and His desires in you. We can plan and prepare and try to fit everything into two bags for two months of a journey, but even during that time He likes to surprise us, sometimes He doesn't want us to see what's coming until the moment we arrive. Then when we've got our feet planted He will say, "Surprise!" In that moment and as I try to prepare and rest, I trust Him guiding me. Even though I cannot see everything that's going to happen, I'm excited to see where I'm landing and when I step off the plane, hear Him say, "Surprise!" 

"Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own."
-Jeremiah 33:3

On the Corner of the Couch

Its my favorite spot, whenever I come home from school. I'm sitting here on the corner of the couch, anticipation building for the moment I'm loving to live as well as the moments that are coming my way. I come to this corner of the couch to relax and breathe and read and laugh and much more. The house is all lit up with Christmas tree lights and I am all lit up on the inside that can't help, but spill over on the outside. Whether it was coming home on Thursday and heading to my high school before I got home for a concert, or working out I've found so many nooks and crannies along my journey that have become other homes to me. Every time I arrive back at my YWAM base I am greeted with a, "Welcome home!" As I've been so embraced both near and far this Christmas season, I want to greet others with a welcome home whether its their home or not. Tonight, I await the arrival of my two best friends and tomorrow brings on the joy of cookie decorating. Its a real welcome home for me, but whether its on the corner of the couch or on a plane flying to Asia I want that attitude of welcome home to light up my face. The lights that can last all year round, are the ones we choose to give and spill over to the ones who need to hear the welcome home. I've snapped out of my Seattle time and now rest on the corner of the couch on Minnesota time. With great jubilee, I dance in the year to come embracing moment by moment and letting my smile spill over to light up those who need to hear the welcome home, this season. 

Where are You?

My favorite question that I've been asked lately is, "So, where are you?" During my DTS last year, I made phone calls to supporters who were helping me earn my salary, to be a missionary. Even if they'd gotten a newsletter from me, they still had no idea what I was doing or what it meant to do a DTS right after high school. I love keeping in touch with people and being able to discuss not only where I've been the past year, but where I'm at now. 

Its not a problem, although it seems to have become one for me. The problem of the now is that too often, we aren't all in. We have dipped one toe into the water, afraid of getting both feet wet. I love Jim Elliot's quote, "Wherever you are, be all there." I recently, received a word from the Lord, from a fellow leader, that described him seeing me in a prison, trapped and training for something, but not really knowing what I was preparing for. At first he'd seen me in a courtyard, but then realized that I was trapped. I love receiving words from people, but this word I did not want to receive. I was wrestling with God about it all day in my head, knowing I didn't want to over analyze it, but I simply wanted God to explain it to me. Then, sitting in the Boiler Room, during ministry time I was discussing this word with a friend telling her how it made me so unsettled. She raised her hand and asked if she could share her thoughts with me. See, I've been restless. Restless, in this season of wondering what's next after the Basic Leadership School and restless without having a four year plan for my life.

Let's not make prisons out of our minds trying to figure it all out for ourselves. Take a deep breath, set both feet in the water and if you want to even jump in all the way like I did, last Friday at the swimming pool, then do it. Dive all in, get wet, get soaked where you are right now in life. The security of a four year plan, does not secure the reply of, "Yes! Now, I've finally got it all figured out!" I want to be aware of my future and yes have vision, but at the same time, I don't want that to cloud my mind from where I'm at right now. This wrestling with God and not knowing how to receive this word from my friend, has turned into me tuning into God's voice of going on adventures with Him. Adventures that call me to be all in right where I am. My prison, has turned into an adventure of narrow roads that have always proven God as faithful in His provision for my life. Ask Him to take you on an adventure, He will. Not only will He, but He wants too. He wants both of your feet in the water, He asks you to jump in with Him all the way, if we so dare to trust Him on the narrow roads we are granted a secure future of His faithful provision.