Never Alone

Ok, so we've hit a lot of insecurities lately, that Jesus has been revealing to me in these last two posts. I know that I should never apologize for thinking too much, but its something I tend to be very good at! Thinking, over-thinking and then forgetting to pray about what I've been thinking about and that should be the first step that I turn to when I have a lot on my mind! So, as Jesus continues to take me apart in order to set me apart to be made more holy like Him, I've been wondering about the biggest fear that we often face as women that being-abandonement. Why are we so afraid to be left alone? 

God gave me a picture while I was struggling once in Thailand, this is actually a real picture that hangs on my dad's wall in his classroom. It's of a very muscly guy with no shirt on holding a little baby. Jesus showed me that I was like that baby, Jesus is very strong and holding me. As we were taught week one while I was living in Washington, "It's always a party of four!" Meaning, it's always you, the Holy Spirit, Jesus and the Father walking by your side. A comforting verse I found while God gave me this picture in Thailand of Him holding me, was a psalm that stated that we should walk securely since God is by our side and walking with us. It helped me hold my head up as I missed my family and had to adapt to village life for the next 7 or so days to realize that with God by my side, holding me and helping me walk securely in Him should never make me fear being alone! We need the company and reassurance of others, but as women it's my prayer for us to begin to walk securely in whatever life He has called us to. Whether that be the village in Thailand or working in an office everyday. Here's Jesus wanting to hold you tenderly and yet say, "Walk securely! Do not fear I am holding you with you and walking right beside you." 

Be at Rest

This may sound really simple, but something that is significant that's on my mind to write about is: God wants to take off your blindfold. Sometimes as a part of recognizing God's grace and who He is in our lives we don't even notice Him beside us telling us not to worry! One of the constant reminders that He keeps reassuring me of is simply, "Be at rest." This is difficult for me because I weigh much on myself like wanting to get back to work and connect with people. 

I'd like to challenge you with a quote from a book that I'm reading right now called, "Wild at Heart," first let me preface with this: don't ever start to think that you are unworthy for a certain calling or something that you know God is pressing on your heart to embark on. So here it is out of the many quotes I could've pulled out this one really stuck out with me to share with you, "Do you know why God loves writing such incredible stories? Because He loves to come through. He loves to show us that He has what it takes." I challenge you with this as an encouragement today. He's right there beside you that even though it may seem like a dark time where you are struggling, He is simply nudging you and like He will whisper to me say, "Do you trust me?" Trust me, it's worth it when you reply to Him and although its simple to say, "Yes." He will come through for you as He has done for me because whatever calling He has placed on your life it is sure to be and is an incredible story when we trust Him. 

Amazing Grace

I have been wondering what to write about first as I begin to unpack this trip. What is hitting me the hardest is how thankful I am for the church. This doesn't have to do with finances, although I cannot begin to thank everyone enough for that and for your prayers for my team and I, but I want to tell you is a story about a temple and a church I visited in Southeast Asia.

 I remember it like it was yesterday. Walking up the stairs to this temple and having to ask my friend if we could walk up with our elbows locked and a word of prayer on our lips as I was hit with an overwhelming shock of mixed emotions. I saw the beggars with no limbs. I heard chanting music. I smelled the smoke being offered up to their ancestors and it broke my heart as I was rocked with the reality that these sweet people really didn't know where they were going after they died and it was a generational fear. It is a routine to come to this temple, bow down to the idols and force their kids to do it too because as a part of their culture, one did not want to mess up this religious curse, I'll call it, that has been continually passed down. As I watched one family bow down to an idol the tears came rushing down and I had to take a minute to gather my emotions as I wrapped my head around the truth that these people don't know that their lives are at stake because they haven't heard the truth of the gospel.

 I will never forget this moment, but don't worry it gets a lot better.

 There's this place called a church. It's sometimes difficult to find, but once you walk in there it is a feeling of Amazing Grace, both when you sing it out and when you walk in with your bare feet and the villagers offer you nuts or whatever they have that is their very best because you are a foreigner and they want to give you the very best they have.

 It's hard being a Christian they say, all over Southeast Asia, but as one Koran boy told a member of our group:   he felt bad for us because it is hard since we have so much luxury that we don't have to depend on God. I think it is, for us, a matter of recognizing God. Yes, he may feel bad for us, but when we take a deep breath and perhaps we are dropped to our knees because we see, we really see God's grace, and when we take the time too look at it and sing, "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me..." we recognize that we are wretch's and that we are all in need of that sweet deep reminder of grace especially when you take a moment to recognize it, please don't forget to recognize that today.

Be blessed, church! 

Character is Destiny

What's on my mind? Our strength and weaknesses. During a discussion one day, we focused on what separates the elite or "very good", from settling for just being good. Seriously, have you ever thought about that? What can we do to become our best selves? I have for so long wondered what or how it is that we can find our destiny! Do you suddenly wake up and realize, this is what I am supposed to do and I am going to spend the rest of my life doing this exact same thing? 
          Our discussion about what separates the elite from those who settle for just being, 'good enough', is mainly that that the elite are those who  are aware of their weaknesses and challenge themselves to find strength in them. Along with that thought, I have come to realize that it can be difficult for us to relate to people's strengths, but more often than not, we can especially relate to each other's weaknesses. After a conversation, about our character's from 2nd Peter 2-1l, I've come to realize, while still learning, that in order to find one's destiny and to really be effective not only in ourselves, but also when it comes to sharing the gospel, is waking up both individually and collectively to each other's weaknesses and start their in challenging ourselves to find strength in them by building up that weak side of our character. I encourage you to read that passage from 2nd Peter and to ask yourself what your weakness is, but not forget about our strengths either, character is destiny! It is never too late to ask Jesus, what  He desires to teach us about ourselves.

Sparks Fly

Its been more than just me who has said that since being in Washington sparks seem to fly with creativity! I've written a song that I hope to share soon as I am learning to play it on guitar (slowly, but surely). Some of you may know my passion for writing, I have written more than one poem and I really hope to have a story written, but its crazy the amount of time and effort we are preparing to get ready to leave, but I crave my time and space to write. Here's a poem that I'd like to share with you that I wrote for my dad for his birthday yesterday: 
Who is this man?
He is strong a mighty man of God and a tender father
He picks me up when I fall and shows me love most of all
He is called chosen and loved and called?
Called to what?
A deeper abiding a deeper rest in a heavenly Father who loves him most of all
Who is this man with a great smile, warm hugs and strong hands?
It starts with a D-E-A-.....
Nope...
That's his name
But he's my Daddy:)
This is his life
Happy Birthday and many to come!

Intercession is Crucial!

2 weeks left of classes after Thanksgiving break and then I leave Washington! This video will give you better insight into the work that I will be doing in Thailand. I am so excited for all that God has been doing in my life right here, right now and all that is to come in His future plans for me! Pray people. Intercession is crucial. http://vimeo.com/4673059. 

Acceptance

What does acceptance mean to you? Since being in Washington, God has taught me more of the meaning behind acceptance. Acceptance of who He has designed me to be, or acceptance of other people and how He's designed them. I've posted a few things on Facebook, asking for prayer requests about getting a cold, I'm  much better now and through being sick God taught me a deeper level of acceptance.
        I like to think of myself as an independent person. It was hard for me to let things go as I got more sick and I had to let other people do things for me. Towards the beginning of this past week God reminded me that it was my job to be outrageously loved, this is my first primary occupation in life and its yours too! He calls us the Beloved, because we were created to Be-Loved. Whether it was someone taking my dishes, lending me their hat to wear, giving me cough drops to suck on or a drink of vitamin C, I was touched by my family's kindness to me and through this process of getting better God taught me to be gracious, let go and receive with gratitude. 
         Thank you for your prayers! My prayer for you is that you may be able to grasp where you are His acceptance for you in how He designed you to be and that hopefully it won't take being sick for you to be able to let go and receive with gratitude!