Leading Yourself

I've had a longing in my heart since I was a young girl, to go to India. My heart was grieved, when I saw on the front cover of a magazine, a soldier holding a baby from India. The title on the front cover read something to the effect of, "Who will help them?" My little heart probably around age of 7 or 8, felt like it was about to break. I remember going into my room and crying, when we got home from the grocery store that day. My mom knocked on my door, asked me what was wrong and when I explained to her, about my broken heart over the lost, she held me and told me that this was an ok thing to be crying about! The picture of the baby being held by a soldier and the cry in my heart to help others has never gone away. A week ago, I got a text from a friend that told me the exciting news, that for our next outreach we will be leading we'll spend two months in India!!!!! I almost cried in joy and excitement knowing full well that God has been preparing my heart for this moment of going to that country for many years. So, here's where I'm at now. In January, I will be helping lead a two month outreach, but I have a whole summer to work and raise support to go back to Washington State, in the fall where I will be apart of a Basic Leadership School. My heart is bursting at its seams with joy! But what do I do now in the midst of the waiting, testing, and the hot two months ahead, of July and August? I learn to lead myself. The press on my heart is, if I cannot lead myself, than how will I be capable of leading others? So, with the two months of waiting ahead for this next season of my life, I will begin to teach myself even simple life skills, like learning how to cook challenging meals in the kitchen. If we don't know how to 

deal with our own attitudes in response to others and difficult situations how can we expect to lead others? As Peter says in the gospel of Luke 5:8, "Master, leave. I'm a sinner and can't handle this holiness. Leave me to myself." Then at the end of this passage it tell us, "They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed Him." There's a maturity that comes with being aware of our own sinfulness, but a joy everlasting that is the adventure of being willing, to leave everything behind and follow the Master. Trust me, its worth it!

Free Punch in the Face

You know all those t-shirts that have, "Free Hug!" written on them? Well, years ago when my family and I were at Sonshine Christian Music Festival, my mom had been talking about how many people really like to offer their free hugs at music festivals, so as she had been walking around the booths at this festival, she noticed a really tough looking young lady wearing a t-shirt that said, "Free Punch in the Face!" Isn't that hilarious? We still tell this story a lot in my family!  

Your probably reading this thinking...what? Free punch in the face what is that all about? Let me give you an example and jump to the point. So, one of my leaders at this base says to me a lot, "Get over it! Suck it up, buttercup!" It drives me crazy! But hey, here's the thing, today when I had a bad cold and woke up with a sore throat, I was told that me and my fellow interns would be doing evangelism in town this morning. Climbing into the van, I was worn out and emotional, my leader kept telling me to get over it and I was so upset! However, my leader and his wife along with my fellow interns, surprised me by taking me out to coffee in honor of my birthday coming up! I got really emotional in the coffee shop, when I was so happy to hear that they wanted to take me out for my birthday and the man working behind the counter handed me my coffee and said, "This is inspired by your emotions!" We all laughed! My challenge and prayer for you is that when you see Jesus face to face someday and He shakes your hand will He be inspired by your emotions your perseverance to get over it, even when you just want to crawl back into bed! With the free life God offers us, we are able to turn that free punch in the face around, to inspire others by how we choose to persevere. Knowing there is someone who we can trust, helping us work through our emotions even when we cannot see Him. He is there working behind the counter with us and helping us in the midst of our daily lives. 

And Still You Know Me

While I was overseas, one of our leaders got a word from the Lord for me, they told me that, God wants to reveal to me how well He knows me. I had gotten my name misspelled on my plane ticket and between 6 different plane rides overseas, to our first destination, it was pretty tense going through customs, wondering if any of the security was going to notice my name and if they did notice, I would've had to stay in an airport with a leader while the rest of our team got to make it to our final destination. Through a lot of prayer God helped me make it through all of customs. Without any security noticing one misspelled letter on my name!

 Many of you know that I still have a special place in my heart for the country of India, I still have that seed planted in my heart of wanting to go there. God renewed a picture in my mind, that He had given me during my first month overseas, of a lot of Indian children crawling all over me, laughing as I let them love me and I loved them in return! Seeing children on the streets, while I was overseas, even though I was not in India grew a longing in my heart for wanting to take care of children who have been abused. God also has set a flame in my heart of wanting to take care of missionaries. Its a goal of mine to earn my masters in counseling and healthcare, through YWAM. He's planted a dream in my heart of wanting to provide a safe house, full of kids and missionaries to come rest while I know how to take care of them mentally and physically. Not only is this my dream, but it is also God's dream that He has planted in my heart. Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." The more time we spend with God in His presence the more He longs to invite you to know Him better and reveal to you how well He knows you too! "You hung the stars and You move the sea and still You know me!"-Stephanie Frizzel (Bethel Music).