What's Going to Happen?

A lot of people had said to me last March when I got back from India, "I'm so sorry, that its over." I wasn't sure how to react to that. I felt like I had just begun! I know these people meant it with the best intentions and after these comments came the questions of, "So, what are you going to do next?" I knew I was headed in the direction of college and that was the best answer I could give during the Spring last year. However, now I am in college and  shouldn't be surprised at the desires that are still the same. For instance, this May, I'm heading back to Europe and spending a week in Greece on a mission trip with my school. People, were feeling bad for me that my travels were over, but little had they or myself known, that in reality these have just begun! Another desire that has sprung up is my love to run. A lot of people don't understand how slow I run. I have no ounce of competitiveness within me. I run so that I can listen to music on my phone and escape into the neighborhood woods by my house. However, since I've run the Twin Cities Marathon this October, I have found myself running more than ever. Even in this snowy Minnesota winter I am layering up and getting outside. What it really comes down to, is that as humans we waste a lot of time thinking about what's going to happen. When in reality a lot of what happens is up to us. When I was in YWAM a lot of people kept telling me to go for it, yet I wasn't sure what that meant for me during that time. Now, that I have these desires to travel, run and write I am finding that I know what that means and what it looks like for me to go for it. I don't want to waste anymore time thinking about what could or could not happen, but instead I want to choose the attitude of trying new things. 

Beginnings, Endings and Everything in Between...

I'm laughing, as I look back and think about all that happened during my first semester as a college freshmen. My floor flooded, we moved to a house a little off campus, that was still owned by our school and called ourselves a sorority, at the Bible college and went mattress surfing in the house we were living in. It was a pretty great beginning. Sometimes, its really hard when we can't see things right away though. We can't know what the future is going to look like or maybe even what we want for ourselves in the future. Sometimes, though this can be a really good thing, because at least for me, being known as the girl who likes all the details and likes to plan everything, it helped me to not be able to see everything and simply be in the present and realize what I wanted and who I wanted to become. Obviously, this is still a process for all of us, but it really hit me around 1 am last night as I was thinking back on this year, we have permission and freedom to be whoever we want to become and decide what we want. Now, that I'm going to be back in the dorms for this semester and know a little bit more of the details and future plans, I'm still looking forward to being surprised and not knowing everything. I had no idea that the alarms would go off around 10 that night last semester and that I'd have to move everything out of my dorm and live in a house with 10 other girls from my floor for the rest of the semester. I remember being angry and frustrated because all I wanted to do was sleep! Little did I know that God knew exactly what I needed and it was totally His details and His plans that I couldn't see everything that was going to happen. That's my challenge for this year, its ok not to know all the details or have plans and realize around 1 am that we can be whoever we want to be and decide what we want for ourselves. The surprises that came to me this year, may have originally made me angry and frustrated, but in the end it was exactly what I needed. To grow closer to my floor and have that experience in the depths of the city which gave me a greater appreciation for the suburbs. As angry and frustrated as the surprises may make us, or as happy and exhilarated, its in the end that we can see how they shape us and how they really reveal our true selves and who we end up becoming.