Its not a problem, although it seems to have become one for me. The problem of the now is that too often, we aren't all in. We have dipped one toe into the water, afraid of getting both feet wet. I love Jim Elliot's quote, "Wherever you are, be all there." I recently, received a word from the Lord, from a fellow leader, that described him seeing me in a prison, trapped and training for something, but not really knowing what I was preparing for. At first he'd seen me in a courtyard, but then realized that I was trapped. I love receiving words from people, but this word I did not want to receive. I was wrestling with God about it all day in my head, knowing I didn't want to over analyze it, but I simply wanted God to explain it to me. Then, sitting in the Boiler Room, during ministry time I was discussing this word with a friend telling her how it made me so unsettled. She raised her hand and asked if she could share her thoughts with me. See, I've been restless. Restless, in this season of wondering what's next after the Basic Leadership School and restless without having a four year plan for my life.
Let's not make prisons out of our minds trying to figure it all out for ourselves. Take a deep breath, set both feet in the water and if you want to even jump in all the way like I did, last Friday at the swimming pool, then do it. Dive all in, get wet, get soaked where you are right now in life. The security of a four year plan, does not secure the reply of, "Yes! Now, I've finally got it all figured out!" I want to be aware of my future and yes have vision, but at the same time, I don't want that to cloud my mind from where I'm at right now. This wrestling with God and not knowing how to receive this word from my friend, has turned into me tuning into God's voice of going on adventures with Him. Adventures that call me to be all in right where I am. My prison, has turned into an adventure of narrow roads that have always proven God as faithful in His provision for my life. Ask Him to take you on an adventure, He will. Not only will He, but He wants too. He wants both of your feet in the water, He asks you to jump in with Him all the way, if we so dare to trust Him on the narrow roads we are granted a secure future of His faithful provision.
