Never Alone

Ok, so we've hit a lot of insecurities lately, that Jesus has been revealing to me in these last two posts. I know that I should never apologize for thinking too much, but its something I tend to be very good at! Thinking, over-thinking and then forgetting to pray about what I've been thinking about and that should be the first step that I turn to when I have a lot on my mind! So, as Jesus continues to take me apart in order to set me apart to be made more holy like Him, I've been wondering about the biggest fear that we often face as women that being-abandonement. Why are we so afraid to be left alone? 

God gave me a picture while I was struggling once in Thailand, this is actually a real picture that hangs on my dad's wall in his classroom. It's of a very muscly guy with no shirt on holding a little baby. Jesus showed me that I was like that baby, Jesus is very strong and holding me. As we were taught week one while I was living in Washington, "It's always a party of four!" Meaning, it's always you, the Holy Spirit, Jesus and the Father walking by your side. A comforting verse I found while God gave me this picture in Thailand of Him holding me, was a psalm that stated that we should walk securely since God is by our side and walking with us. It helped me hold my head up as I missed my family and had to adapt to village life for the next 7 or so days to realize that with God by my side, holding me and helping me walk securely in Him should never make me fear being alone! We need the company and reassurance of others, but as women it's my prayer for us to begin to walk securely in whatever life He has called us to. Whether that be the village in Thailand or working in an office everyday. Here's Jesus wanting to hold you tenderly and yet say, "Walk securely! Do not fear I am holding you with you and walking right beside you." 

Be at Rest

This may sound really simple, but something that is significant that's on my mind to write about is: God wants to take off your blindfold. Sometimes as a part of recognizing God's grace and who He is in our lives we don't even notice Him beside us telling us not to worry! One of the constant reminders that He keeps reassuring me of is simply, "Be at rest." This is difficult for me because I weigh much on myself like wanting to get back to work and connect with people. 

I'd like to challenge you with a quote from a book that I'm reading right now called, "Wild at Heart," first let me preface with this: don't ever start to think that you are unworthy for a certain calling or something that you know God is pressing on your heart to embark on. So here it is out of the many quotes I could've pulled out this one really stuck out with me to share with you, "Do you know why God loves writing such incredible stories? Because He loves to come through. He loves to show us that He has what it takes." I challenge you with this as an encouragement today. He's right there beside you that even though it may seem like a dark time where you are struggling, He is simply nudging you and like He will whisper to me say, "Do you trust me?" Trust me, it's worth it when you reply to Him and although its simple to say, "Yes." He will come through for you as He has done for me because whatever calling He has placed on your life it is sure to be and is an incredible story when we trust Him. 

Amazing Grace

I have been wondering what to write about first as I begin to unpack this trip. What is hitting me the hardest is how thankful I am for the church. This doesn't have to do with finances, although I cannot begin to thank everyone enough for that and for your prayers for my team and I, but I want to tell you is a story about a temple and a church I visited in Southeast Asia.

 I remember it like it was yesterday. Walking up the stairs to this temple and having to ask my friend if we could walk up with our elbows locked and a word of prayer on our lips as I was hit with an overwhelming shock of mixed emotions. I saw the beggars with no limbs. I heard chanting music. I smelled the smoke being offered up to their ancestors and it broke my heart as I was rocked with the reality that these sweet people really didn't know where they were going after they died and it was a generational fear. It is a routine to come to this temple, bow down to the idols and force their kids to do it too because as a part of their culture, one did not want to mess up this religious curse, I'll call it, that has been continually passed down. As I watched one family bow down to an idol the tears came rushing down and I had to take a minute to gather my emotions as I wrapped my head around the truth that these people don't know that their lives are at stake because they haven't heard the truth of the gospel.

 I will never forget this moment, but don't worry it gets a lot better.

 There's this place called a church. It's sometimes difficult to find, but once you walk in there it is a feeling of Amazing Grace, both when you sing it out and when you walk in with your bare feet and the villagers offer you nuts or whatever they have that is their very best because you are a foreigner and they want to give you the very best they have.

 It's hard being a Christian they say, all over Southeast Asia, but as one Koran boy told a member of our group:   he felt bad for us because it is hard since we have so much luxury that we don't have to depend on God. I think it is, for us, a matter of recognizing God. Yes, he may feel bad for us, but when we take a deep breath and perhaps we are dropped to our knees because we see, we really see God's grace, and when we take the time too look at it and sing, "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me..." we recognize that we are wretch's and that we are all in need of that sweet deep reminder of grace especially when you take a moment to recognize it, please don't forget to recognize that today.

Be blessed, church!